Miracle trainer said to 'get out of the bummer zone' and I couldn't so I'm changing the house to make it give a different feel. The new furniture are here - two desks, drawers, a new sofa - and now I'm just waiting for the handyman to come and demolish the built-in plaster desk I had made eight years ago.
In the meantime, both husband's work station and mine are on the same small desk in the middle of the living room, the whole place so full of messy wires that it looks... well, pretty much like you'd imagine a gamer teen's room, sans action figures. It's nice to be able to see husband's face right across from me, or to find his foot in my lap, but the mess around the house distresses me and I can't do anything useful. I'm just waiting for the mess part to be over; hopefully, in two days. Demolishing and fixing the wall tomorrow, then a fresh coat of paint - then placing furniture in place, installing the cintiq with the ergo arm (which was badly installed twice already, dammit, and it's part of the reason I don't paint) - then screwing wheels to two bits of wood to make trollies for the computers, and then, hopefully, the living room will look much nicer and tidier.
My parents moved more than ten times before I was fifteen. I'm so used to packing and changing the place I live in; I've never been eight full years in the same place, until now. And on the one hand, I love it; the stability. On the other, I find that I hoard junk because there's no yearly packing-unpacking, that awesome part where you toss away all the stuff you don't really need; and I loath hoarding.
So this will be nice. Just... push through this mess-in-the-living-room part. I can't wait.
I also, I'm surprised to find out, eager to be able to paint again. Part of it was the bad feeling connected to acquiring the cintiq; the other part is just the discomfort involved with moving it around the desk, and hopefully now this will be solved. I haven't had much urge to paint this year, and I had Blender to keep me occupied and more, but now I have a couple of images from The Secret World I want to paint - if only to thank Lucky for walking hand in hand with me during a month of bummer - and I can't bring The Secret World models into Blender. I'm actually thinking some mixed medium technique could be great - using wow models in Blender for pose reference, for example - but that will have to wait until the cintiq is up again; right now it's lying face down in my bedroom, and I give it a baleful look every time I pass it.
I really hope the bummer is over. It will be spring soon, and there's so much fun coming - a tidy house and a guild expedition, sunshine and walks outside, roleplaying with cool new people.
The whole guild drama bummer lasted one week. Two people left, politely but with an aura of unpleasantness that brought both husband, Lucky and me down. But it took only a week to find more than enough people we're happy to try playing with; and frankly, the guild's build has been a thorn in my side for a while. They're all excellent roleplayers and cool people, but the characters were very passive, so passive that Lucky and I had to change our introvert, quiet, shy characters just to move the plot along; the guild being very small by choice made it so that no interesting character dynamic was generated, and even in times of great plot action, things felt a little stale. So bummer or not, this is a good thing; hurt ego and 'this is unfair' or not, it's better to be hoping that new people will bring better dynamics than to compromise for a guild you don't enjoy. And really, the people were all so nice; you can't kick them on account of not contributing what the guild needs. Now that they left, there's hope things will be nicer.
And I opened commissions again; after the animation bootcamp, doing a single image feels like vacation, even if it has particle hair and stuff. And I really kind of need to replenish my paypal, after those 200$ spent on rendering the clip.
I'm itching to make animation, but not something as long as the clip, and I can't come up with any good idea for a 10 second long animation. In the meantime, I got to itch the scratch a bit by teaching a friend to animate today, which was nice. I wish I could bring myself to taking erotic commissions - there would certainly be plenty of them, and they're quite short and much simpler to make - but I just can't. Even the sweet romance images of my own character cuddling with her guy made me cringe, and throwing actual genital anatomy there - criiiiiiiinge. No. I'll leave that to people who feel comfortable with it.
So much to look for! God damn it, come already, tomorrow! I want to do cool stuff!