Monday, 3 April 2017

It's been a while, hasn't it? I had a chain of inspiration combined with bad luck. We finished a roleplaying campaign in Warcraft, which sent me on a spree of making pictures, related atmospheric paperwork and attempts to keep the guild busy while we wait for the next campaign to start; at the same time, I got splitting headaches that sent me to the hospital, which in turn pumped me full of antibiotics, then I went to an optician who made glasses for me so the headaches vanished (thanks, hospital), then I caught a cold, finished it, and one day later caught a different kind of cold. It's really been adventurous, and I can only thank the universe that I have no job or by now I'd be fired for taking so many sick days.

Speaking of jobs, it looks like I expanded from making 3D wow commissions to teaching Blender - I've done it several times before because it turns out I really like teaching, and I know how hard it is to excavate all the relevant knowledge for wow pictures from all them horribly unprofessional tutorials online. I didn't charge for it until now, but my first paying client, not two days after I taught them, plagiarized my commission price page down to the letter, opened commissions and advertised those to the same clientele I serve, with exactly the same product I offer. That was a bit of a blow to the wind in my sails, and while I don't know why I feel betrayed, I still do. So I turned down the next three people who asked for lessons and for now I'm back to Blendering on my own.

There was also some guild drama - which ups our drama count to three, which isn't bad, spread over 15 months - there was this member who was as lively and as charming and emotional as only unstable people can be, and I ignored all the warning bells because they were really nice. Then one day someone does something they misinterpret, and wham, there's a crazy retaliation Milady-Berserko style, complete with ragequitting, emo-blackmail, inflating everything beyond proportion, and mainly an amazing ability to totally refuse to hear any explanation whatsoever. Imagine you tell someone 'good morning' and they go berserk on your arse. With a shotgun.

I felt bad about it for two days, then I realized that if the person entirely refuses to listen, no matter how much you beg them, I'm really better off without them. Not to mention, shutting me out without allowing me to talk is an act of violence, and I don't want to have anything to do with people who do that. Long story short: player quit the guild, I feel sorry for them, I'm certainly hurt I was never allowed to explain, but I'm quite happy not to have to interact with that, and even happier at the ability to let go. If it's hopeless, there's zero point trying to fix it. If only the 20 years old me could act on this... But I'm glad I finally internalized it.

There's also been a lot of fun (fnu!) with Jake, my wow-buff programmer friend who's been writing the software to extract wow models for me. The yet unnamed extractor is still in its infancy, but is already priceless for me - unpolished as it might be; and, no less important, it allows me to once in a while have a several hour long chat with Jake, both of us working on it and exchanging banter and opinions, and it feels so nice to have a project together with someone. It's as if... we're sitting together in his living room with laptops, only we're a continent apart. Not to mention, I'm still shocked, on occasion, that he's no longer 16. And at how marvelously he grew up.

I also did some real-life socializing - not only that farewell gathering (which was so lovely it makes my heart sing, although it was likely where I caught my first cold), but also going to watch Beauty and the Beast with Notch, and how awesome it is that I can still enjoy Disney at my age, and that it still makes me cry like an idiot.

And I just noticed I hadn't posted any Blender stuff since that clip at the end of January; I've made eleven pictures since then, but that really belongs in another post. And perhaps when I actually have brain cells instead of snot occupying my skull.

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