Bellpoint

Last night I wrote a long entry, then immediately chickened out and removed it, due to a combination of not wanting to jinx it, and a learnt-tendency to be wary of what I share in public. So it's time to do my best to sum it up and see if that helps.  Most of the realistic things in my life are as good as can be. There's no world peace and I'm not in a healthy weight, but the realistic things that can make one's daily life either a misery or a smooth, lovely joy, are all on the good side and have been for a while. This is when, were I the type, I'd knock on wood.  It's been almost a year of having this new love, and his kids, and his derpy cat, and all of those make me happy and relaxed, and give me meaning. A toxic presence that's been in my life for a few decades is gone - probably the biggest, deepest negative influence on my life. It being gone feels like both winning the lottery and being on a relaxing vacation; there's nothing to fear. I've bee...

This blog was reset a few times and it's mostly no great loss, but I miss the digital scrapbook pages I made last year. I think it started as a way to memorize words in Thai, or an attempt to indulge in making roleplaying props without actually roleplaying, or possibly to make use of AI images that deeply moved me but, being AI, are morally wrong. I can't remember; but it developed into being a sort of journaling-with-images thing. And that blog is gone, and there weren't too many of them, so I'm just going to re-post them here.  - When I was a kid I dreamt of knights and fairies and green meadows and rain, which stood to reason, what with being a D&D player who lived in the desert in a town where most teens cared mostly for surfing. Then I grew up and realized that rain was cold, that green meadows were also cold, that sunshine on said meadows didn't necessarily mean it's warm, and that I hate the cold. And somewhen in my 30s I realized what I now fantasize...