Bellpoint

It's been two months of constant Flow and excitement about watercolor. I'm binging tutorials, when I was in bed for a couple of days I realized that 'watching tutorials when you can't watch vids' is called books and got six and binged three, I spent an unholy amount of my monthly budget on supplies and I'm having as much fun as I had every time there came a period of wild inspiration like this - the last was the scrapbooking, and before that Blender filled that space for almost eight years (though it was less intense after 2018, perhaps for the best).  Usually I sleep 16 hours a day (some medical thing) but when at the peak of excitement like this, which sometimes lasts months on end, I can get away with five or six. I'm having so much fun.  However, this run is different to the ones before because it's been a great year, and my situation is the best it's ever been. The boyfriend; the financial safety; the lack of toxic family; those all make me feel...

There's a bible story about Pharaoh dreaming of Egypt having seven bad years, and then seven good years. Sometimes it felt as if my seven bad years started at 2018: a sudden divorce, sudden plunge into zero financial means, an understandable congruent depression, migration to a far cheaper country for financial reasons, 2021-2022 were great but then that tropical infection happened and two years in and out of hospitals and so leaving the life I built abroad and migrating back, losing my beloved best friend, then failing to say no so ending up moving in with an abusive person and having to run away. As my cynic friend said, the author overdid it with drilling the point on this story; the bad luck of it looked like a parody. In July 2024 I was living alone in a tiny, sweet apartment in the cheapest big city in this country, holding my own and being, again, depressed - a light version of post traumatic after the months in the hospital and the abusive roommate thing. I was doing what I...

(Not my art! Made with AI) The Day of Atonement is a Jewish holiday in which religious people participate in various pagan atonement rituals that look like medieval witchcraft (seriously, look up the rooster one) and, since it's tradition not to drive at all, the secular crowd made it into bicycle day to make use of the empty roads. It's a very quiet day; when we only had one channel on TV here, that, too, would broadcast nothing - so the holiday was also the 'raid the movies rental' holiday. Nowadays we have internet so being bored with no TV isn't an issue, but the roads still empty, there's no music or any loud noises outside, and it lasts for a blissful period of 24 hours. I love it. Having spent seven years living alone, I now really enjoy having people in the same house as me; the sounds of life  happening so close, life I can dip into if I want, feels safe and helps me not get stuck in my own head. On the other hand, it also means constant interruptions w...

September in this country is full of holidays, which makes keeping a routine near impossible; with two kids in the house, it's been more social and family-like than I had in years. It's going to get far more social, because there's the Geek Festival in two weeks, and I'm going for the first time in 15 years. It's a bit daunting - I'm very fat, and I used to be a minor celebrity in these circles; what will they think of me? Will I feel confident and happy as I used to, when I was the outgoing game-master of tabletop game, the person who enjoys making LARP props and making friends with new people? It's so easy to retreat into my shell, but I miss people, and roleplaying, and real-life socializing. So September has been distinctly lacking in daily routine, but had more nice family interactions than I had in a decade. There was time with the boyfriend's kids, enjoyable time with my brother (!), loads Office Days In Person here in my study with Quazi - it ser...

Last night I wrote a long entry, then immediately chickened out and removed it, due to a combination of not wanting to jinx it, and a learnt-tendency to be wary of what I share in public. So it's time to do my best to sum it up and see if that helps.  Most of the realistic things in my life are as good as can be. There's no world peace and I'm not in a healthy weight, but the realistic things that can make one's daily life either a misery or a smooth, lovely joy, are all on the good side and have been for a while. This is when, were I the type, I'd knock on wood.  It's been almost a year of having this new love, and his kids, and his derpy cat, and all of those make me happy and relaxed, and give me meaning. A toxic presence that's been in my life for a few decades is gone - probably the biggest, deepest negative influence on my life. It being gone feels like both winning the lottery and being on a relaxing vacation; there's nothing to fear. I've bee...

Work - or whatever one would call this 3D hobby - is the exciting thing I look forward to when I get out of bed in the morning, mood willing. Managed to get back to it a couple of weeks ago thanks to streaming - the people there energize me - and currently am working on a suit. The not-commission is a take on an fantasy Egyptian prince, with a Victorian aspect - that sounds like a hot mess, but 'fantasy', 'ancient Egypt' and 'Victorian' have been my GMed tabletop roleplaying campaign themes for 30 years, so it's my comfort zone. The Egyptian outfit is finished, and I've been working on the Victorian one for a while and am having a blast, because it requires learning a plethora of new tools.  Whatever little I learnt of Substance Painter was mostly wiped during my two months off, so that needs re-learning. The outfit design is currently benign - bland Victorian, nothing Egyptian about the silhouette, and I'm not sure I can be bothered to change that; ...